Let's see... what has happened in the last seven years (if I can even remember). I moved away from the town where I graduated from college, where I got married and had my first child, and where I had my first adult job, Stephenville TX, to a far away land in the West called Lubbock TX. I knew little about Lubbock, except of course Texas Tech. The thing I remember most about our first trip there was the people were super friendly, there was no humidity in the air so I had a great hair day, and there was a Torchy's Tacos (my memory remembers good hair days and good food well - priorities). Let's just say I was all in. Ryan, Olivia, and I hit the road for Lubbock. Ryan was working as a college pastor starting a college ministry at a local church. I started working at a parent's day out program in the 2 year old class while Olivia went to school down the hall. From that moment forward life threw a few curve balls at my little family.
Our first days on the job were big days for us. On Ryan's first Sunday it was announced to the church that our pastor, the person who had asked us to come to Lubbock, had been diagnosed with cancer. On my first day of work I found out I was pregnant with baby #2... actually baby #3 (Olivia was a twin in the womb, and her twin didn't make it past 8 weeks, but I'm just now realizing and acknowledging that, well, I need to acknowledge that baby).
Along the way God brought us some amazing college students and some amazing friends. Something I do often is pray for God to give me friends. Yes, I need help making friends and God knows what's up - no shame here. So we had some friends come alongside us that were so wonderful I can't even explain, beyond that fact that God just provided exactly what we needed. Also, Charlie was born. Enough said if you know Charlie; if you don't, just go read the "Strong Willed Child", or even just the title, and that's Charlie. We then received a few big blows including the death of 2 family members, and the death of our pastor and Ryan's mentor, all within the first year of moving to Lubbock. We came to a point in our marriage and just emotionally in general that felt similar to a desert.
Fun fact: God knew all along that these things were going to happen. He wasn't caught off guard and he definitely wasn't (and never is) unprepared. Also fun fact: I happened to be studying the story of Abraham where God called Abraham to the promised land. When Abraham got there, it turned out to be a desert in the midst of a famine (sounds familiar!). Here's what I realized in the middle of all of this: when we get to a place of complete dependence on Him, where we have run out of our own resources, we can more easily embrace that He is the provider and He desires to provide for us if we will call on Him. He would not have brought Abraham to the desert just to leave him there alone. We all know Abraham left the promised land and fled to Egypt once he realized the famine was taking place, but I can't help but wonder what would have happened if he stayed put and asked God to provide. My prayer for that next season of life was, "God you called us here, so I'm not going to run away. I am running low on resources and I'm scared, but you say you want to be our provider even in the most seemingly hopeless situations so I'm calling on you to please provide WATER IN THE DESERT." If you look throughout the old testament this is not impossible for God. He has done it before. So I asked, and He provided. But here's what God told me: this is a marathon, not a sprint. It was not a quick fix (in fact it's still in progress today)! However, watching God's faithfulness throughout the process has been nothing short of miraculous. I had a front row seat to watch God make beauty from ashes, and I was a big ol heap of smoldering ashes.
For those of you that like details here are some of the ways God provided during the season, and let me tell you that none of them would have happened without Him. If you don't care for details just skip this paragraph. So here we go: marriage counseling, a wonderful pediatrician who recommended some things to help manage Charlie's behavior, a flourishing college ministry, a team of wonderful adults who volunteered to pour into those college students, random blessings from people who would show up at our house and say "I feel like God told me you needed (fill in the blank)", a job position for me that opened up at the *perfect* time, mentors who spoke truth into our lives, books that were recommended to us right when we needed them, tubes for Charlie's ears - seriously a game changer! And on and on and on. I can think of so many instances of God's faithfulness. If you REALLY like details and that wasn't enough for you, just let me know and I can tell you more.
Eventually God led us out of Lubbock and to Oklahoma which is where we currently reside. And He is here too. In seven years that is the one thing that hasn't changed. I'm beyond thankful to revisit the pages of my seven year younger self, who didn't know the trials and victories that we were about to face, and yet I can still see the same God weaved throughout each sentence of each page! I'm more convinced and encouraged than ever, that in every season God is here and will be our provider if we just ask. The ultimate goal in the end is not the things, and it never was. It's about the solid foundation that comes with building our life upon the rock, God, and knowing that it was all about Him to begin with. The giver of good things. The good things that reflect a tiny glimpse of how good the giver really is. It all points back to Him. And that is worth remembering.
James 4:2
"You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask."
